MYM - India to Conquer the World, a Tribute to Noname and Shamrock

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Some years ago, chancelor of the Federal Republic of Germany Gerhard Köpf-Schröder, presented an idea to the German public that was to change the view on foreigners in the Federal Republic forever: The Green Card for IT-specialists from India,affectionately called "computer Indians".
No longer were Turkish people stealing our jobs, Polish people our money and Italians our women. It was all united in the one evil, the Indians. They did not only threaten to benefit our country, no, they also robbed us of our last resort towards foreigners: our arrogance.
Where we had always been able to look down on others because of the jobs they did ("Selling kebab - bah!" said the German manager, taking a large bite of gyros), these Indians were said to be highly qualified and should give to us what we were supposed to have more than anyone else: know-how.

What a shock! And the only thing to comfort the desillusioned Germans, the fact that the Indians actually never came - mainly because of other offers being way more attractive - had the nasty aftertaste of humiliation.
But the memory vanished, and with enough distance, we were once again able to talk about secured pension schemes, global warming and China as India as the great countries of the future - without ever imagining that these countries might eventually overtake our beloved Federal Republic.

To me, the question remained: If our politicians are so interested in young people with high qualifications, and my schools and universities have over the years constantly raised the number of sutdents per teacher, what is it that computer Indians have and I did not? Why did the federal Republic try to import people from a different countries if not for the inferior quality of products on the domestic market?
The answer came to me in a dream. A dream of spicy munchies called Moong Dal, to be very precise.
I tried and tried and tried, but the package would not let me open it. It took me around twenty minutes - twenty minutes for something that was meant to be a quick snack! Clearly, the average Indian mind was a lot cleverer than me, meaning India was full of geniuses.

After being rejected by the Foreign Legion, I surrendered to the thought of having to emigrate the the United States of America in order to become a human guinea pig for genetically modified food, the only job fit for a loser like me. But it would get worse: I had witnessed the brilliance of the Indian mind, and i was aoubt to witness the superiority of the Indian abdomen. With a delay of approximately 48 hours, the delicious Moong Dal began to show it's notorious, dangerous side.
"Please excuse me for being late, I have explosive diarrhea!" was written on my favorite South Park poster back when i was a kid, and that was exactly how I felt for an entire week. Only 100 grams of Moong Dal had been enough to completely take out my intestines, not to mention the fact that... ok, i'll spare you the details.
When I read my newspaper this morning, it said that the popolation of india is still growing by more than 15 millions each year. This means that every ten years, India grows by the population of two Federal Republics. I've heard enough. I will move to India, learn English, start becoming a programmer and not accept any offers from Germany.
I'll keep you informed...

(Disclaimer: I do not by any means dislike Indians, nor do I wish to discriminate against them in any way, I am just upset about my stomach's reaction to some Indian Moong Dal and had to get rid of some anger caused by the pain.)

Comments (6)

Page :

(last year) #1 FoReVeR_ManUtd

India is a great country :)

(last year) #2 sayd

lol, all because of beans.... YouŽre rockinŽ with the best.

(last year) #3 MYM\|Army

Your stomach is a wuss pobudeczka na bacon i jajeczka

(last year) #4 ShamRock

lol u a funny read for me :) M proud of being an india :D In this world of sin i hope to surrender to the holy bliss.

(last year) #5 Dectilon

A touch of brilliance in that tone ^^ Love it. Suprise and Terror!

(last year) #6 bTX.bEastbOy

I am proud at least for now! I don't think of the Future, it comes soon enough!

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	karl 'karltoffel' k
	From : Germany, Berlin
	Age : 21 years old

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