I saw some article called "Requiem for a dream" and that made me react. First of all i have to present myself, when I was young, I succeeded easily to school without studying and teachers were congratulating me for the results. In that time I was thinking that I would succeed like that all my life. Now I'm a 21 yo students in a Belgian University and i have some problem to succeed in my studies. Why ? The answer is easy, i don't study because of a lack of motivation. I just don't know what i really wanna do in my life, i don't see myself waking up every morning to go to my office and do the same work everyday. So I thought hard about my situation, I talked with a lot of pple, I've read a lot of articles and I also met someone supposed to motivate pple like me. Now I think I quite understand the way to resolve my problem, I explain. Just take a few minutes and think about what would be the perfect life in your future, think hard. How do you see yourself in 10 or more years if your life was perfect to your eyes. Would you be happy, would you have a loving family, would you have children, would you be rich, woul you be active in a pleasant work, what kind of work, would you live near your friends, etc ... Try to see every small detail that would describe your perfect future and, the most important, try to feel how you'd be. Now just make a step back and fix yourself some steps between now and that future (ex: 1st succeed my year, 2nd succeed the studies, 3rd find a pleasant job, ...). And try to feel yourself after each step, feel how silly were your studies when you'll be working, feel how happy you'd be happy after succeeding your year/studies, etc ... It can be seen as a stupid exercice by many pple but for a lot of pple it only will help them to believe in their dream of the perfect future, in the ability to reach that future. Believe hard in your dream, and you will get them. Doing that gave me some perspective for my life, I had no motivation because i never took the time to think about what i was really wanting. I never imagined neither how possible were my dreams. Now I just do sometimes that little exercice just to boost myself in unpleasant times (like exams). You don't succeed in the life only with talent, if you're not motivated you won't go anywhere even if you're the most talented or intelligent pple. Believe in your dreams they are possible. (Sorry for my bad english and the bad construction of the text but it's hard to explain that kind of stuff)

 

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(2 years ago)  #1 wNv|VBadGirl

You have to give it time a little. Around 21 is a critical age I might say (or around that period anyway). It's the step where you are forced to decide what future holds for you. The time represents ending the long period of childhood and entering maturity. Your lack of motivation was because of that, your refusal of maturing yourself. As you said.. seeing yourself in a office, with a strict program, same work everyday , same routine and etc.. that's what adults do and what u weren't ready for. but seeing maturity is not as bad as you thought it will be and came in terms of accepting you could re-focus and find your way :). well gratz :D. Plus when you do something you love doing, you'll stop seeing that office like a prison the way u do now. Hold the S cause i'm an AINT.

(2 years ago)  #2 drifting

nicely done. although i am of the opinion that you contradict yourself in one point. if your perfect future concerning job, family etc, your "dream" is that clear to you it is not credible to claim that you didnt know what to do with your life. i also spend a lot of time thinking about these things and i have to admit that right now i dont have any namemable aims in my own life, at least none that would make a difference. as opposed to you i came to the conclusion that the things most humans try to achieve are of no importance, since most of them only strive for power or the likes. money, cars, a house, yachts, social status or power, everyone dies and those things wont make you nor your life better, more memorable, valuable or worth than the one of others. thus these things are of no importance, they dont make any difference. thats the exact reason for me asking myself again and again why people are working in the same office, do the same job, every day without gaining anything from it (not referring to 'worldy' things) i do not want to work my whole life - for nothing, ending up as a blind sheep among billions of others. God loves stupid people. That's why he made so many.

(2 years ago)  #3 drifting

there are way more possibilities to waste your time than to go to work in the early morning and return from it in late evening, totally exhausted and probably without much freetime. "The time represents ending the long period of childhood and entering maturity. Your lack of motivation was because of that, your refusal of maturing yourself. As you said.. seeing yourself in a office, with a strict program, same work everyday , same routine and etc.. that's what adults do and what u weren't ready for." so, basically, you are saying that living without any purpose, spending day for day in a job to earn money to be able to pay for the things you think you need in modern society is what makes someone "mature"? i dont think so, or at least i hope it is not what "maturity" is all about. God loves stupid people. That's why he made so many.

(2 years ago)  #4 wNv|VBadGirl

heheh but it does. let me explain now. He looked at the negative aspects of adulthood, working, long hours, sometimes with no satisfaction, bored, tied to a chair but he overlooked the positive aspects. Social status, having stability, feeling needed, important in some'1s life (gf, wife, parents, friends) at another lvl, having own paychecks, freedom to do a lot more things, travel, meet a lot more ppl and etc etc.. list can go on.. but sitting on that chair can show maturity, the fact he is a responsible person that knows to temperate himself, thinks and plans in future also, etc... the main difference between a child attitude and adult is like this kid= i want that here and now, i want to have fun, i see the present, i don't think about future, I'm living the moment. adult= i plan things a lot more careful, I think about my actions how it will influence my life, I know not everything can be obtained on the spot some I have to work very hard for. i have to be wise and invest well in me, my resources and use my time smart. you do have a purpose you have your life to live and enjoy. coz work lasts only 8 hours. the rest 16 hrs belong to you to enjoy yourself and the benefits the work brings you. Hold the S cause i'm an AINT.

(2 years ago)  #5 Flex-

Dude you look a little like Grubby. As for the article, after VBaDGirl articles I decided to leave it to the pro's and not bother posting on theese issues. Sup?

(2 years ago)  #6 drifting

8hours would be a dream most people have to work more, 10-12, some even more than 12hours a day then you add the time you need to go to work and return back home, thats about 1-2 hours too. you also need time to buy some stuff and some time to sleep. lets say 10hours work, 2hours traveling time, 8hours sleep, 2hours for eating/shopping and now tell me where your freetime is? what are you working for? i can only talk about how it is in my country (in many cases), including the last job i had where i did work 10hours+2hours traveling time. fortunately i did still have something like 4-7hours of freetime each day, depending on how many time i was planning to use to sleep, because i was living at my parents house and i didnt need much time for shopping or cooking since they did that for the family. Last edited by drifting at 23.08.2006, 09:29 God loves stupid people. That's why he made so many.

(2 years ago)  #7 supah*nettn

I'm going to go work a few years abroad, I'm not actually gonna get a lot of money out of it but atleast one hell of a good experience. I still take every day as it comes and I know I will have to one day call it quits and find a way to settle and get a decent job, but as long as I don't have to worry about it, I will enjoy my life XD I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!

(2 years ago)  #8 wNv|VBadGirl

#6 hehehe u are talking too technical.. well normal program is 8 hrs. The fact u want to work overtime that's another issue. and plus u get to go from work directly in town and have fun.. like meet you gf at a restaurant and have dinner out... or meet your friends for a quick happy glass. It depends Id say you can't come and simply say.. that's how it's going to be.. because you don't know. hahahahah Flex- don't be like that ^-^. Hold the S cause i'm an AINT.

(2 years ago)  #9 drifting

i know how it is very well yes, normal program is 8hrs. at least officially. but at least in germany most ppl have to work much longer than that. they have to work overtime because the work has to be done, else they might lose their job and will be replaced by someone else. or their payment would be decreased. God loves stupid people. That's why he made so many.

(2 years ago)  #10 KimiKimi

VBadGirl#1 :: lol around that age... that's the time when many let their dreams die..... -.-..just because of "growing up".. why not to stay a kid... why to try to blend in the crowd so hard.. why not to stay this way, when growing up doesn't make everything ok anyway.... one little thing making big difference is your state of mind... I mean, you have to be more dreamer than realist... else you'll never go so far, never unfold your dreams. And let's face the truth... office, routine, boredom..that's what adults,..!who gave up their dreams!,...do. And that's what no-one should ever accept.. but way too many people are soo pesimistic and "realistic" and all that "bullshit" it makes me sick... really.. people are screwing their own lives..just because of the lack of ...mmm courage!.. HyuugaHinata#3 :: life's not about wasting your time lol. VBadGirl#4 :: quote "but sitting on that chair can show maturity, the fact he is a responsible person that knows to temperate himself, thinks and plans in future also, etc..." still this all can be shown and accomplished by the other way than getting bored and tired of your work.. I mean,.. you don't have to do shitty job only to show the "retards" (sorry omw, so many people I meet....eeeer! I mean, they all telling you to grow up... retards) around you're mature.. HyuugaHinata#6 :: They don't "have to"... quote "what are you working for?" -> to survive in this case lOl... it's up to everyone to make the change and start living instead of existing HyuugaHinata#9 :: That's in many countries.. still.. up to everyone to make a change... `*~ 'You have to raise in love!' (© VBadGirl) <3 ~*`

(2 years ago)  #11 KimiKimi

Ou and To The Topic :: I've thought, talked, read, searched for answers a lot too (=.. Seems to be pleasing to see someone being at the same point as I was myself some time ago. And even more pleasing to see you've found out that you gotta stick wiv your dreams.! (: quote "Believe in your dreams they are possible" <- says it all! :D or the one maybe more know "You can do anything you can dream of, You can be anyone you can think of" ...or somewhat this way (: addtoVBadGirl#1 :: courage and dedication... and/or other aspects too..but, anyway, who cares about the others... I do my studies of languages, and I love it, gonna have a job where I use it and enjoy it to the full extent.. and that's it. There's no stopping me,... maybe except a truck on a crossroad LoL. ('; <- that's what I call right state of mind ;D Last edited by KimiKimi at 23.08.2006, 16:05 `*~ 'You have to raise in love!' (© VBadGirl) <3 ~*`

(2 years ago)  #12 Ganonito

Thx everyone for your comments. I think you're all right in a way or another: VBG, you're right when you say "As you said.. seeing yourself in a office, with a strict program, same work everyday , same routine and etc.. that's what adults do and what u weren't ready for." because this vision is what I can see when I take the bus everyday, I see pple with sad faces. Those pple could be dead it would be the same. Therefore I needed to recover my dreams, the wonderfull things I was dreaming when I was a child. That's the true message in my post. If you have forgot your dreams and are living sadly without goal, just "existing" (as KimiKimi said) then try to get your dreams back and see that they aren't impossible, see that they can give you a goal to live for, to fight for. In my researches I found this sentence "vit tes rèves ne rève pas de ta vie" wich means "live your dreams, don't dream your life". I also saw this one (I think it's in another contribution) "when you dont know what you are living for, then you will die for nothing".

(2 years ago)  #13 wNv|VBadGirl

#9 as long as I see it its ppl's fault.. if in contract says 8 hours and that what I'm contracted for so that's how much I work. If he comes at me and offers me a deal for the extra hours whatever and I'm for it.. if not i do the job it's written in my contract. I'm sure things aren't as bleak as u put them I doubt they are allowed to fire your or to drop your salary just coz u only do what u were hired for. I'm sure bosses take advantage of ppl like that simply because they do not know their own rights. Read the work law or we its called and u see that you are protected for cases such as the one u've described. It's wrong and its power abuse. I still fail too see why is so damn wrong to blend in Kim. Everyone aspires at this uniqueness this individuality but hell ppl are from some aspects all the same and all unique. Letting your dreams die doesn't equals with blending in. nobody asks you to do EXACTLY what is the other person besides doing. but u have a set of laws, norms.. etc in a society you have to follow as the rest of us. the fact that you do work doesnt mean u blend in or that your value is diminished... far from it. And no I will work in a chair.. and get bored SOMETIMES because i DID followed a dream... because here is where i want to be. I have picked it, it gives me 1000000000 more satisfaction than boredom or routine... and plus routine is good.. your life is filled with routine. like i wake up, turn on pc, go to toilet brush my teeth, my face... etc.. that's the same each day and you have a routine schedule also. what you fail to see as well as some other ppl is the good sides in each and one of them. Like Yin and Yang... NOTHING has only bad, darkness it was light and good sides also. Hold the S cause i'm an AINT.

(2 years ago)  #14 drifting

@kimi no, youre right, life should not be about wasting your time. but most ppls life has no aim in theyre just working day by day without having any goals besides earning money to survive or "wordly" aspects like social status, a bigger car etc and that is nothing less then wasting your time, because these things are of no value if you lost your dreams. "when you dont know what you are living for, then you will die for nothing" i wrote that in comment #6 in the "awareness" contribution google brought me to the result that "if you don't live for something, you'll die for nothing." is a line from "hatebreed"s song called "live for this" God loves stupid people. That's why he made so many.

(2 years ago)  #15 KimiKimi

VBadGirl :: Sure, letting your dreams die is more or less your choice, but by blending in you let the crowd around you put big pressure on you. And murder your dreams. And if your dreams are more distant from what's standard/common for the crowd, the pressure becomes bigger and bigger and to hold to your vision becomes harder and harder. I know it's true, as you say, "We're all the same, yet so different...from Aspects". But by going with crowd you can't have both (cuz this is just one of many aspects..). You're either like them or you're not. It's about accepting their vision or yours. Of course that I don't say to stay away from people... Let them entertain, show and teach you new things.. And you enjoy, see and learn,.. but don't put yourself in their hands. I mean, you always gotta have reasoning, always ask why!? And if you know one pov, wait for another.. And in the end DECIDE yourself. Routine,.. routine that gives you satisfaction, same goes for anything you're doing, is good, INDEED. I was talking about boring routine... Something you really don't like to do, or even hate it, but still do it for any reason. Something that gives you so little satisfaction or even none, that you are sick... ..Let's go back to the kitchen (';... There's a routine, which I didn't like to do. I love cooking but hated "Washing Dishes". I'd leave all the dishes there and just went doing something else,.. but then my roomie came and it made him angry ;>. I ofcourse didn't want him to get angry, cuz I dislike listening to his "bitching" more than washing dishes itself actually... So I did washed dishes for a reason, bad reason, it was giving me nothing.. Later on I found out another, in fact an "inspiring", reason to wash dishes... A girl, LoL... Ye well, I've always wanted to impress, and if not to impress, than at least not to "disimpress" the others (only some of them ofc, obviously this wasn't the case of my roommate, cuz he is just a roommate, not a person giving to my life any higher sense, just someone to share a flat with so I don't pay so high rent, lol), which satisfy me in a way ;>.. You say I fail to see the good sides?LOL. You must be kidding here, seriously. Just because I'm pointing out the bad sides. Does that mean I don't see the good ones?.. Just because from pointing out the good ones noone will ever learn,.. cuz you learn only from bad sides... I know Yin Yang... and that's why I expose the bad,.. cuz ONLY the bad things teach you to appreciate the good ones... When I say "THIS is a really good book". If you've never read books. How will you know it's really that good as I say. Will you just blindly believe me?.. Or go and try to find what books are that bad they make this one so good?.. And when you learn,.. you "rise". I'm nowhere near being pesimist, nor realist, nor anyone having his feet on the ground. But still I'm able to see the bad sides in everything as well as the good ones.. The difference is I search for and speak about those bad.. only to find and enjoy those good. There's simply no need to speak about the good sides. Speaking of them gives you close to nothing. But of course, I can start to speak about how wonderful life it is, and how cool it is to chill out at nights watching the stars, having simple joy from the wind blowing your hair, getting wet by the warm summer rain ..and so on.. :> HyuugaHinata :: yea, many people go for little pleasures, or bigger.. a new tv set, radio, mobilephone, car... In other words.. "Many of them will just stay and let little drops of water touch them from time to time. Instead of going across barren lands for the undying flow of water in a river." Because it appears too hard for them to get there. And those little drops means nothing, compared to the river in that distant place. "People without dreams are like fishes out of water" (= and one more quote to sum it up ('; "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams" -------and soz for making it too long again :D------- Last edited by KimiKimi at 24.08.2006, 20:54 `*~ 'You have to raise in love!' (© VBadGirl) <3 ~*`

(2 years ago)  #16 drifting

hey where did you get those quotes from? if its a book then i need to read it o.o <3 God loves stupid people. That's why he made so many.

(2 years ago)  #17 wNv|VBadGirl

heheh kim sorry it's useless coz it feels like you don't see what i mean. sure you point out the bad sides but you never make it as that thing has a good side also. Talking and seeing only the empty side of the glass it wont help you in life. ehhhhh i suppose that you will learn as you'll grow older and you experience these things yourself ;). Hold the S cause i'm an AINT.

(2 years ago)  #18 KimiKimi

HyuugaHinata :: Sorry to disappoint you, it's not from a book, tho sometimes I wish it was. But on the other hand, happy to cheer you up, it's from all around, mostly the internet. Just a bit of searching and you'll find many of them. Although those in my post above are from .. 1st - my head, not really a quote lol, just a thought... 2nd - shaolin soccer (a movie).. 3.rd - someone said that in a mmorpg game I play. VBadGirl :: hehehe YES! You're right, I first didn't get what you wanted to say. I got confused and lost...Sorry, but I just didn't want to admit that, as it is kind of double-edged axe, you know... On one side it could make me look like a fool, on the other side you as a person not able to make it clear... when something like this meets with the EGO. One can easily get annoyed.. I myself didn't really get annoyed, I'm just a bit sad I wasn't able to understand it fully, but because I want to know what you mean (and we got unlimited amount of tries, don't we (: ) and because I didn't want to look like a fool, nor did I want you to look like the one who's unable to express herself fully (See, Only in my eyes..others wouldn't think like that anyway), I went on. Sometimes is just better to go on, even tho you don't know where or how, and hope that you'll get it later on. Maybe the person trying to express him/herself will show to you other ways to show the meaning and maybe that one of those ways will make you understand :>...but you've already found out I didn't get it. xD "sure you point out the bad sides but you never make it as that thing has a good side also." - and that's the trick... really, why should you, me or anyone bother with telling the good sides... Imo, that's the way how people will learn.. if you don't tell them the whole, just the bad side, yes people will see you as a pesimist, which is prolly as what you see me now, even tho i highly doubt i'm lol, cuz dreamers are not ('; ..But people are not dumb, they know there gotta be good side too.. they will try to look for it, and when they'll find it they will know how to appreciate its real price. Or some are just dumb enough to believe there's no good side at all. But It's not my fault. It's theirs. "Talking and seeing only the empty side of the glass it wont help you in life."...A Glass..Half-full-or-empty? Great example!.. Lemme explain... Why To Look at The Bad Side FIRST, and ONLY THEN at The Good One. You will drink the glass to the half and then stop. Look at it and see,.. is it half-full or half-empty? Half-full you say!.. Okey, that's a nice point of view, and so you'll go on drinking still seeing the rest to enjoy. But at one moment the glass will be empty and there will be nothing to enjoy anymore! After that you start to actually miss all that what was in glass.(But this regret comes too late.) And you'll be sorry and maybe you'd like to turn back time.. This is a perfect example for saying.. " you don't know what you got till it's gone" Yes indeed, you enjoyed the content in a way, and yes the glass was half-full!.. But optimistic point of view doesn't help you that much as pesimistic one could. Eh, how can this be? One may think ... Because even tho you enjoyed the content of the glass, how much did you really enjoyed it? So let's see what if we turn back time... and drink the glass again!. Ah, the magic of imagination! (: You will drink the glass to its half and then stop. Look at it and see,.. is it half-full or half-empty? Half-empty you say!.. Oh, why being so pesimistic?,..somebody wonders :D. What is it good for?... You've drunk just a half and you're already missing it?(This regret comes just in the right time! or so-so)... When there's the other half to enjoy! At this point you will realise how much you really DO MISS, the empty half... How good it was.. and then you see the other...Still FULL...half... But the difference is that now you will drink much more slowly, enjoying every swallow, how good it is, how good it tastes,..*mmmm* lol.. In fact... You will appreciate the other half much more, and I really mean MUCH MORE than you will if you see it in the optimistic way first. You'll be delighted, that when you're done drinking and the glass is empty... Not for a moment you will miss it.. because you enjoyed it fully (Thanks to pesimistic point of view eh..). ('; Many people tho, will stop at the half and say it's half-empty, but actually not because they're missing the half they've just drunk.. but because they're already missing it whole.. missing it so much that they won't realise there's still the other half to enjoy. That's problem with pesimists.. They are like "oh it's all gone, it's all gone" even tho being in the middle only.. they are so foking scared to admit that the half they drunk was actually COOL... and that the other half is yet to be drunk..they rather continue with lame whining. It's their FEAR to enjoy a thing... I only wish people would realise what they're missing right after the first swallow. And try to... Imagine your life is in that glass... I just hope you don't realise how cool your life is when it is at its half already or even later...try to realise it..now... And maybe you'll start to enjoy minutes and seconds instead of months and years,..and enjoy it fully (: It all is about understanding that everything, as you, VBG, said, has its good and its bad side.. Only then there's a higher level to appreciate the thing. Only then you will learn.. and you will ... "..know what you got, before it's gone." ------- clouds------- clouds may just be blocking sun, they may rain and snow on everyone, or are they castles in the air, and when they come shall we stare? Last edited by KimiKimi at 25.08.2006, 01:20 `*~ 'You have to raise in love!' (© VBadGirl) <3 ~*`

(2 years ago)  #19 drifting

"really, why should you, me or anyone bother with telling the good sides... Imo, that's the way how people will learn.. if you don't tell them the whole, just the bad side [...] they know there gotta be good side too.. they will try to look for it, and when they'll find it they will know how to appreciate its real price." i have to agree with that, thats exactly my point of view, too. think about it, if you tell them the good sides they will be happy with the good sides and they will most probably go on IGNORING the bad sides, thinking that everything is in order etc. they will never doubt, and that would be a fatal mistake! because without doubt you become a blind sheep, and there are way too many sheeps out there already ;) God loves stupid people. That's why he made so many.

(2 years ago)  #20 technics

ganon u little sissygirl! <3