MYM - CS:My Euphoric DownFall

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Counterstrike: My Euphoric Downfall

The thing Ive noticed with these my ideology essays is that theyve been a gateway to our personal lives for our classmates to access. Private moments of our lives that have influenced us in such a dramatic way that our beliefs are constructed around them. I feel as though, I have the most to tell about myself and my ideologies. Being the new kid at school, people barely know me and the things I truly believe in. Ill tell you this. Im not into literature. Im not into art. I barely listen to music. I guess you can say Im not your average teenager. I dont party, drink, and I barely have a social life. Its not because Im a mean stubborn person or because I shun all mankind. Its because something else has taken over my life and time. As dorky and flaming as it might sound, I play competitive Counterstrike and its HAS taken over my life.

It all started three years ago when I stumbled upon the game. I wasnt really into video or computer games. I was more the athletic type. Even though it might be hard to believe, I had a killer crossover, I had hands like glue, and I could put anybody in an unbreakable armbar. But this kid from my church told me to try this game out because all the cool kids were playing it. At first I hated it but something about the game made it so addicting. I went from playing Counterstrike once a week to logging in about eight hours a day. It went from doing homework accurately all night to writing down a bunch of BS on the bus ride to school. I put school and homework as my second priority. After school, I would take the school bus to the bus stop closest to the local LAN center and stay there till 5pm. Then I would come home and play till 11 and then go to sleep. My grades dropped incredibly. But I didnt care. No matter how hard I tried to stop playing, I just couldnt let go. Its like a chain smoker hooked on cigarettes. No matter how many times they try to quit, theyre going to come crawling back. No matter how many times theyre on the patch theyre still going to resort back to cigarettes. I planned my schedule around Counterstrike. Life revolved around Counterstrike. Counterstrike became my sole passion in life. It turned me, an academic athletic kid into an out-of-shape online gaming loser. Im not ashamed of what Ive become. I grew to learn and accept the stereotypes that come with Counterstrike. The loser without a life. The nerd with thick glasses with a Mickey Mouse voice who hasnt hit puberty. I might not fit these labels but Ive learn to accept them as my love for Counterstrike grows daily. Why do I take this abuse and why do I leave myself to these types of predicaments? Its easy to explain. When I play Counterstrike its as if my body leaves reality and floats into this realm of euphoria. Its like William Dafoes character in the movie Boondock Saints. In the movie, Dafoe plays as a crime scene investigator who investigates multiple murders. Theres this one scene while hes surveying around for evidence and drawing up conclusions, classical music blares through his headphones, and it seems like Dafoe is in some state of ecstasy. He makes crime scene investigating look like an art. But in general, thats what Dafoes character in the movie does best, investigate crimes. In reality, getting good grades or reading literature is not what I do best, playing Counterstrike is.

Not only has Counterstrike become a lifestyle, but it also taught me a valuable lesson in life. The things in life that should matter the most arent your GPA, what college youre going to attend, or how much money your job is going to make. It should be about what makes you truly happy and whatever THAT thing is, keep on doing it. Throughout the summer, (as a result of playing TOO much Counterstrike) my father isolated me in my bedroom for about four hours a day only memorizing vocabulary words. In his thick Finnish accent he told me, Youre going to score a perfect 800 in verbal and youre going to become a lawyer. I was supposed to become the lawyer he never was. This lasted for about the whole summer. I would spend my summer days reviewing and learning new vocabulary with short breaks of Counterstrike in between. Periods of isolation with periods of joy, thats what I called it. In my darkest hours I realized that slaving over crappy books like Princeton Reviews Cracking the SAT and learning gay Hot List Words just wasnt for me. I had no delight wasting away over SAT books and trying to become a lawyer. My summer was excruciatingly painful but those rare glimpses of Counterstrike made me go on. As corny as this might sound, it how I view life now.Live life to fulfill your own happiness, not somebody elses. Do what you want to do in life. If that means you want to become the greatest left-handed trumpet player in the world, go for it... Dont let anybody stop you. How far am I going to take Counterstrike you might ask? Well, Ill tell you this. When the day comes that I cant afford to pay my cable modem bill, Ill stop. When the day comes that I cant pay the electrical bill to run my computer, then Ill stop. Until then, I wont stop doing the thing that makes me, me. Like how Shannon has her bass, and how Sarah has her track, and how Gabe has his hip-hop, for me I have my Counterstrike.

Comments (7)

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(2 years ago) #1 KPicyF

Nice, it really seems as if you have put some tought into it :) How do you do, my name is Trouble.

(2 years ago) #2 HolyHuman

i wrote it for skool mate:) so i tried to get good marks on it... Last edited by HolyHuman at 12.07.2006, 22:01

(2 years ago) #3 KPicyF

Ok, did you get good marks on it? And do you play that much cs? I always thought you played wc3 :p How do you do, my name is Trouble.

(2 years ago) #4 HolyHuman

Long before my wc3 days I was top cs like cal main which was pretty much top back then:P ye i got A on it which is highest mark Last edited by HolyHuman at 12.07.2006, 22:15

(2 years ago) #5 KPicyF

okey, nice :) How do you do, my name is Trouble.

(2 years ago) #6 MYM\|pb

nice read

(2 years ago) #7 mrlobos

Man your dad sounds something similar too mine.

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	Nick 'HolyHuman' Pesu
	From : United States, Gilbert
	Age : 19 years old

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