Surfing the net, I found some useless information. Here you go... Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did. Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse horses are hung like Chuck Norris The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided. Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn’t, he replied, “Of course I can, I’m Chuck Norris,” and roundhouse kicked him in the face. If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris. On the 7th day, God rested . Chuck Norris took over. When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn’t work, he plays zombie. Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris. Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris. God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability. When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC. Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn. A duck’s quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly. Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face. Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye. Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany. If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never. Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food. If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris. Ironically, Chuck Norris’ hidden talent is invisibility. Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot. Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card. Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat. Chuck Norris invented water. Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!” One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield. Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father. Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it. Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence. In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks. www.chucknorris.com

 

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(4 years ago)  #1 Contagious

Kind of old, but always gets a couple of laughs. :D

(4 years ago)  #2 Ekii

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did. ahahah =D Chuck Norris is imba :X Alteri vivas oportet, si vis tibi vivere.

(4 years ago)  #3 Contagious

Rofl, yeah i laughed at that one too. ^__^

(4 years ago)  #4 BiG

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father. :D:D:D "Luke, I'm your father" xD <3 mercy

(4 years ago)  #5 MYM|TaZz

rofl nice one If i cant kill you with my M4 ILL!! errh POKE YOU IN THE EYE

(4 years ago)  #6 NLRotterdaM

Chuck Norris dont sleep, he waits.

(4 years ago)  #7 MYM|Njord

haha, CHUCK! Det bli itj nå liv ut'n kniv

(4 years ago)  #8 NLRotterdaM

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

(4 years ago)  #9 Mercy

lol ^^ Knowing my destiny - Is accepting your defeat...

(4 years ago)  #10 MYM|TaZz

Chuck Norris is the only person ever to have beaten a brick wall in tennis If i cant kill you with my M4 ILL!! errh POKE YOU IN THE EYE

(4 years ago)  #11 s7orm

God bless the mouse scroll.... I reject this fuckin' race, I despise this fuckin' place

(4 years ago)  #12 E5grAyf0x

dont fuck wih Chuck! ^^

(4 years ago)  #13 PGS|Leo

Chuck won't die, he will kick into the calendar, from the half turn. Exercise what it wouldn't be but put the love into it and it

(4 years ago)  #14 IstvaN

rofl

(4 years ago)  #15 I-PK.TeH-CoLd

Actually, Lee H. Oswald didn't kill president Kennedy. Chuck Norris made a roundhouse kick so fast, that he went trough time just in time to block the bullets with his beard. Afterwards, Kennedy died from sheer amazement

(4 years ago)  #16 kru

hehe, this was really amusing ^^ thx. I'm marking trees.. Because these are the ones that I like.