I will destroy everyone in 2009, ok? Good.

Welcome to my last ever column for this year! Have a seat - yeah, right there. Before I start, I would like to say "Thank you" to all the people who kept messaging me about my columns - if it weren't for that, I would have probably not made this at all. So, once again, thank you - my readers are the best!

Since many of you wondered what happened to me, let me clear this up: I wasn't kidnapped, I simply had many important issues interfering with my column. I finished my university, I got my bachelor's degree, I got my driver's license, I got a new job, I got a new apartment and I live in a new country - all in these past months.

Now, if you think I will make another StarCraft column now, you're wrong. I want to make a blog now, where I will talk about happiness, rainbows, guns and maybe cooking. Also I will try to cover the topic of Amazonian frogs if I have enough space, but the main problem will be to stay focused. I know I have this problem but I also know I can't really do more things at once, like talking and blinking at the same time. Also I like cheese but I hate milk.

Those were the days. Not entirely relevant to the story.

I became quite famous for these columns, and I actually get stopped on the street or other public places. (at Carrefour, for instance – cashier: "that will be $18.4- oh my god, you're vhallee!" Yes I am, madam, yes I am. I also got an email from a Discovery Channel director: "Hey, I heard you are almost considered funny on the Internet so we want to feature you as stand-up comedian on a documentary about trees"). Also my column was plagiarized by some sites, which is why I wish they will die stricken by a million flaming dicks.

Speaking of that Hadron Collider, a girl from India committed suicide cause she was afraid of the Apocalypse. Now that's being rebel: killing yourself so you won't die. I just had to get this off my chest and I didn't really have any opportunities so far.

Ahhh, feel that Christmas spirit...

Regarding the winter holiday season, I can only say I have much hate for it. There are times when I think “Wow, I'd rather suck on a bunch of dicks than get into the Christmas spirit”, that's kinda how much I hate this time of the year – especially because you have to prove your loved ones that you care about them by buying shit they will most likely never use (it's either that or I'm pretty bad at picking presents – seriously, a pet nail trimmer is not that bad of a gift, what the fuck?!).

Also the winter means a new fashion season if I'm not mistaking. My general idea about fashion is that you shouldn't dress to look like a fucking Christmas tree or firecracker, but looking at some of the people around me makes me want to scoop my eyes out with a plastic spoon and feed them to the ducks.

Next stop: my travel blog. Where do I live now? Where do I work? Did I make it alive out of the plane? All this and more in the exciting page 2 of my fantastically mediocre trip!